What is this world coming to...

I feel like lately I am being reminded often about just how precious life really is... Here one minute gone the next. First with the loss of Jonathon last month, followed by my Great Aunt Angela (who lived a long, rich life), and now  this horrific, horrific massacre at the Aurora midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises.

This morning when I heard about what happened, the first thing I did was go to the trending section of Twitter, what I came across first I can not shake. Someone had tweeted a blog posting from last month from one of the 12 victims, detailing her experience at the Toronto mall shooting.

One of the things she said really stood out to me, before the Toronto shooting happened, she was overcome with such a great feeling of uneasiness that she literally fled the mall. Three minutes later, someone opened fire near the exact spot she was standing.

Has that ever happened to you, looking around a crowded place and a feeling of unease takes over? This has happened to me several times, but most recently at a crowded showing of Magic Mike. I was at the very top of the theater, all the exits were at the bottom, and there were hundreds of women everywhere. This feeling of unease came over me thinking about how there were so many people, and if anything bad were to happen, based on my location in the theatre I would probably be trapped.

Maybe it is just the worrier in me, but maybe not. Violent shooting sprees like this one has been on the rise in recent years, so why shouldn't one be fearful. It seems to me that no one should really feel safe anymore, you just never know what is going on in a person's life that could make them break. There are so many mentally sick people out there, not seeking treatment, being ignored or having excuses made for them. Most times they are only a danger to themselves, but in cases like the Aurora shooting, or Virginia Tech, they are a danger to others.

At least I can find comfort in knowing that when it is my time to go, whether it be from natural or unnatural causes, I will find peace in death knowing that I am going to be reunited with my Savior and those who have gone before me. There really is no greater joy than that. I hope Jessica Ghawi, and all the other victims of this tragedy, and their families, are able to feel that peace as well. 

First Loves Never Die

Jonathon was the first boy who ever loved me, my first real kiss, and in a lot of ways my first real friend. He knew everything about me, things that I did not share with even my closest of friends. And now he is gone.

I wish I could say that I am shocked to  hear of his passing, or that I never could have saw it coming. But sadly that isn't the case, and that makes it all the harder to take. When Jonathon came into my life, he was a trouble young boy looking for help, and I was someone desperately seeking attention, and validation that I wasn't invisibile. As you can imagine this was a scary combination. Our relationship enabled us in so many ways, we depended on each other in so many more, and in the end hurt us more than any High School relationship should.

So many people loved Jonathon, his family, my family, his friend, the SACS family, but love wasn't something that he could never see or understand. As an 18 year old, it was exhausting to love someone who didn't love themselves. He controlled my whole world, and could tear it apart or mend it together with his words. Anyone who knew us back then saw our volatile relationship play out very publicly.

When Jonathon moved in senior year, my family instantly excepted him as one of us. He spent holidays, birthdays, and family reunions with us. My parents treated him like a son. If you asked my mom how many kids she has, 5 was/still is her answer. My dad, seeing a hurt kindred spirit, took him under his wing and tried to be the father figure he so desperately wanted. My siblings thought of him as the big brother they never had. He teased them, played tricks on them, but if anyone messed with them he had their backs. He always had mine too, even took the blame when I drove my car into the side of our brand new house.

Not a day will go by that I won't think about Jonathon (he would have be 26 today), and that I could have done more. Maybe if I had found him sooner, or never gone away to college things would have been different. Or maybe they would have been just the same. There are so many what if's and maybes and questions that will never be answered. But I do know one thing, without Jonathon I never would have gone to OU, and never had the experiences that have led me to where I am today.

Jonathon, I hope you found the peace and love in death that you never could find in life.

Be warned...

Following last night's unbearable loss, and the pain and humiliation being inflicted on me by my black and silver themed adult brace's... I am on a rampage. I have already unfriended several people on Facebook, stopped following a few more on Twitter, and am definitely no matter what the outcome, NOT CHEERING FOR THE THUNDER!

Thanks, and GO SPURS GO!

I'm back...

The bitch is back... just kidding (about the bitch part.) But seriously, I am back.


Since LifeofLibby.com has been shutdown, I need a new blog name, any ideas?? LifeofLibby.blogger.com is already taken by a mom of three whose daughter is named Libby. She chronicles all of her adventures on a daily basis. Obviously, I think I would do the name more justice, since it is actually my life I am writing about, and not a kindergartner, but what can ya do??


LifeofLibby2point0.blogger.com is lame, so please please help me think of something else! For someone who fancies themselves a writer, I can't come up with anything un-lame.


 Looks like this new blog is already off to a good start!